#170 – STEMI

On April 17th, at the age of 44, with no prior cardiac health issues, I had a heart attack. Not just any heart attack, I had a STEMI, the kind that is often referred to as ” The Widowmaker”.

STEMI : ST-Elevation Myocardial Infarction is a very serious type of heart attack during which one of the heart’s major arteries (one of the arteries that supplies oxygen and nutrient-rich blood to the heart muscle) is blocked.

Signs and symptoms of a STEMI include:

  • Chest pain or discomfort
  • Shortness of breath
  • Dizziness or light-headedness
  • Nausea or vomiting
  • Diaphoresis (sweatiness) unexplained by ambient temperature
  • Palpitations (uncomfortable awareness of the heart beat)
  • Anxiety or a feeling of impending doom

Some patients experience denial and dismiss their symptoms as heartburn or indigestion. When this happens they may delay seeking care for hours.

At the time, I was in full on denial that is what it was, I was convinced beyond any reasonable doubt, that I was just having a really really bad case of heartburn. It took 3 days, before I even went to the ER. On April 20th, I woke up in the morning and walked to the kitchen to get a drink like always, but by the time I reached the kitchen I needed to sit down because I was so exhausted. That was when I knew, something was very not right and it was time to go to the ER.

The very thought of going to the hospital in the middle of the COVID pandemic was of course a huge concern, but I knew something was wrong enough, that it was more important to go.

I was transferred from our small local hospital to a larger hospital about 45 minutes away that had a dedicated cardiac care unit. I was there for 3 days and I now have a stent in place to keep the blocked artery open. I am also on a ton of new medications that are all giving my body a workout to adjust to.

The aftermath of all of this, has been the hardest part. It has been one month to the day that I am writing this, and I am still nowhere near what I would consider ” normal” .

Insomnia is something that I battle with on a nightly basis. Sleep deprivation brings on its own set of crap to deal with too.

Depression, while this is something I have dealt with my entire life, the depression that I battle with now is nothing like what I am used to, or that I know how to manage and combat.

Both of these things together, causes a serious inability to focus.

I feel lucky when I have a couple good hours a day, where I feel present and able to focus and pay attention and hold a conversation.

Tonight is one of those nights. A rare treat where I was able to not just take the photo above, but to actually be able to stay focused enough to write a post that I am hoping is not a total shit show.

I know I still have a long road ahead of me, and allowing myself to accept that I am going to have bad days, and worse nights, is a hard pill to swallow, but I have never been a spitter, so swallow I shall !

~ WORN ~

Body : Legacy Body – Female
Head : Catwa – Catya
Skin : Amara Beauty – Yvette – Beige
Hair : Truth – Paradise
Ears : PUMEC – Wings Byak Byak
Necklace : Cae – Protected
Glasses : Deep Static – Oliver Glasses
Dress : Mangula – Violet Set
Heart : Remarkable Oblivion – Broken Heart Prop

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